Hi, hey, hello!
I’ll begin by saying that walking outside in a leather jacket in the beginning of April is not necessarily a good idea, especially not if your location, like mine, is close to the northern hemisphere. Why am I saying this? Glad you asked. You see, last Saturday I did just this and it really wasn’t a problem… until it started snowing. This was not part of my ‘let’s drive into town, get a coffee and walk by the quiet river’ plan, hence the leather jacket. The snow came regardless, however, and as the coffee shop was filled to the brim I had to flee back to my car, which, to be fair, wasn’t that far away but by the time I made it back it was too late. So, here I am, six days later, sporting a sore throat.
You know what the best thing to do when you have a sore throat is? Eat cold stuff. But as irony has it I can no longer eat delicious things such as ice cream, no sir, fate did a cruel twist in 2014! The thing about having ME is that you can get real sensitive to some groups of food, in my case my body decided to go “begone dairy and egg whites! I banish thee!” (21 years I relied on cheese to get me through the month, no more) and so began the life without dairy and egg whites… my point is that the solution to today’s predicament was a Starbucks frappe!
It’s so easy! Walk in there, place an order and tadda! Cold coffee! Or so I thought… bless my ignorant heart and let’s hope it’ll recover from this discovery (I don’t think it can). It’s common knowledge that Starbucks has a tendency to misspell names, you give them Emilie and they give you Emily, or as I once did: gave them my friend’s name Marthe and they gave me Greta, because logic.
This is how today’s Starbucks adventure went:
Me: Hi! Could I please have a grande caramel frappuccino with soya milk, and I’d love two espresso shots in it as well!
At this point my mouth is salivating at the thought of the cold liquid against my sore throat! And so I pay the total amount and wait for it to get done. I watch one of the baristas make a frappe but I stand there thinking “hmmm, that can’t be mine” as she puts it in a blender marked ‘dairy’. She proceeds to fill the beverage into a plastic cup before bringing out the cream. “Yeah, nope, definitely not mine,” I think, although to be honest I was jealous of the person who was going to get that thing because holy christmas morning I miss having cream on my frappe! Not to mention the delicious caramel on top! (Yes, I have a sweet tooth, sue me.)
Barista: Caramel frappe for Martie!
Me thinking: oh dear… I could just take it and not tell anyone… The pain would be so worth it.
You see, I’m not actually allergic to dairy, I’m just really sensitive. Meaning: I don’t get allergic reactions, I get bloated and then various levels of sharp, piercing pain follows!
Me saying out loud: errr… uhmmm….
Me thinking: oh shit, I want this frappe so bad…. Just take it and run!
Me saying out loud: that’s me, but it was supposed to be with soya milk and no cream.
Me thinking: NO! NO NO NO NO! WHY DID YOU SAY THAT?! AHHH SHE IS TAKING IT AWAY! GET IT BACK, GET IT BACK, GET IT BAAAAAAAACK!
I think my soul cried a bit as I watched it go into the bin before she handed me my proper order… truth is: at Starbucks nothing is ever simple. But you’d think, wouldn’t you, that when someone orders a drink with soya it’s because of an allergy? And yet I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to ask them to remake something because they used regular milk. Thankfully I don’t get allergic reactions because if so I’d have had to give up this vice months and months ago! Oh, the horror! That is, if I’d survived long enough to actually make that sacrifice.
You should know, though, on the outside I was very composed! Smiled and thanked her and everything, she never had a clue about my inner battle.
Until next time!
– Martie xx