Deep Old Instincts

She’s fleeing, soles rapid against the underground of her own mind, her instinct taking flight, runrunrun goes the pulse in her ears, through the labyrinth

Why are you running little one?

There is no valid reason, only the thought of safety exists, and it can’t be found here, her mind screams for her to get awayawayaway, away from the circus of her mind

We don’t need to run no more, we are safe

She will not listen, she can’t,  flight is her only option, she knows nothing else as the fear builds momentum in her veins, fasterfasterfaster, shapes blur as she powers through

I can help, I promise, just stop for a moment and breathe, deep and slow, we can fix this together

Except she can’t, her instincts are going rampant; fear like fleeing foxes through her veins, with her own mind as her designated hunting party — with shadows as hounds, ready to nip at her heels as they herd her on, foaming at the mouth for her inevitable capture — and so she runs. 

I’ve had an absolute amazing day, aside from the fact that my body went into full-on flight mode (high pulse, an inexplicable urge to get away, unable to consume food without being forced to) without any apparent reason; the body was adamant on this course of flight, old habits die hard I suppose as this used to be my normal and some times it just sneaks up on me, but my head stayed clear as it tried to coax the body back to level ground. It’s strange how body and mind can be so separate some times, but it was part of my rehabilitation course to learn to think clearly when all my instincts took over, and I suppose that Mindfulness training has stuck because despite the turmoil my body was going through today I was still able to enjoy myself and my good mood never wavered as I simultaneously waited for the fleeing to halt enough for me to rein it in — it eventually did, now I’m just working on getting my body to land properly so that mind and body can reconnect once more…
– Martie xx

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