Louder Than Words

There is something pleasant about that smell of caffeine in the morning, not just any kind, but your favourite brew. 7.30am, you’re awake and so is parts of the world around you, and you go into that one special place and order up a cup of your regular; they don’t even need me to say my order anymore, they just let me out of courtesy. I’ve been assured that they enjoy regulars, though, so I don’t have to find a new place to frequent, which is good. I find a certain calm in sitting at a table in the morning, watching the traffic move outside the window and seeing people walk in and out the door as they too make sure they get their chosen drink before rushing off. My bus is always thirty minutes earlier than my appointments and obligations, I don’t need to rush.

Today I had my very first day of work placement. It was August 2013 I had to go on a sick leave due to my health and I have not returned to the job scene since, before today. It feels good to finally be of use again, to do something worthwhile. This is a process to see if my health can handle working and so -for now- I work four hours at a time, three times per week, but it is enough for now. By the time noon rolled around today my head was pretty spent, but it was a pleasant surprise to notice that my muscles were still alive and well.

I still required a short nap afterwards, something my cat certainly didn’t mind. We ended up taking a thirty minute snooze together:


It’s been a long time coming this new adventure of mine. 2014 was a year straight out of hell, but it was also the year where everything turned around. Something clicked inside my brain with my rehabilitation and I was able to start working forwards instead of just drowning in the now, slowly. I’ve gone from being unable to lift my own glasses or cutlery, being bed-bound, unable to walk without help because of collapsing muscles, to having a pretty functional life. I haven’t had a proper workout in about a week or so, but my muscles have still gotten some challenges as I went on a weekend trip to Stavanger to visit my friend; we walked a lot and went drinking and dancing. I don’t think words can convey how grateful I am to be able to thoroughly enjoy an evening like that without having to fear a week -or more- in bed, being able to meet new people without almost fainting from exhaustion – the situations themselves are much louder than any existing words I can string together. It was a weekend for the books: a lovely city filled with wonderful people, I can’t wait to go back.

First the trip and today work, and I’m still very much alive. It’s a wonderful sensation that made me skip and twirl along to my music with joy as I walked home from the bus stop, much to the surrounding people’s surprise. There is hope, and this is the proof. I’m not at the finish line, not even close, but I’m on the right course, and with the three P’s it’ll be possible.

Patience. Pacing. Positivity.

It’s a good thing to go by, at least for me.

Take care,

– Martie xx

2 thoughts on “Louder Than Words

  1. Oh Martie, I loved this piece. I too am skipping and twirling along to music in my joy. I understand how you feel. Your 3 Ps are wise too. Keep as well as you are! Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

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